5 Key Points to Keep When Dating a Christian Millennial
Last year around December I had the chance to be part of a panelist of a Single Conference hosted by Discipleship International Church. The main discussion of the conference was the topic of the “10 Commandments of BAE”, which gave the audience a basic foundation on what they should be looking or doing when in a relationship. The 10 BAE COMMANDMENTS were as followed:
- God is BAE above every other BAE
- Bible over BAE everyday
- BAE can’t stay if BAE only Plays
- Guard YOUR heart
- BAE is ON THE WAY with NO DELAY
- Singleness IS NOT a struggle
- You DON’T lay with BAE until your wedding day
- BAE needs BOUNDARIES
- BAE ain’t BAE if BAE don’t PRAY
- BAE ain’t BAE just for TODAY
Whenever we’re building a house any general contractor will tell you that the FOUNDATION is the core of the house. The same way works when we as single people try to go into a relationship. If the foundation is broken from the beginning, in the long run we will have problems throughout when the house is all ready for you to move in. The 10 commandments are there for a reason, is not for you to follow through completely but they are there for you to establish from the beginning the FOUNDATION of what type of RELATIONSHIP you’re looking for. Today I want to share with you 5 points that I think are important to have in consideration on the 21st century Dating world:
- Is he/she a Christian? :
2 Corinthians 6:14 states: Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? If the person you’re currently contemplating or in a relationship IS a Christian, the question will have to be ARE THEY WALKING IN LIGHT? As Christians we are divided in Mind, Body & Spirit, the whole purpose of a relationship is that 2 people become 1, ( 1 mind, 1 Body, 1 Spirit) if he or she is walking in Darkness and your Spirit is walking in Light, you both will repel each other. Everything that he or she does will become “annoying” to you which is God’s way of saying: You are my son/daughter and I’m protecting you.
- The Importance of Boundaries:
Ladies, we are living in the 21st century which means “Independence” is the key word in the woman of today, which it will automatically come to mind the following saying: “If a Man CAN do IT, why can’t I?”. So MAN BEWARE, women are as sexually active as YOU. They might have gone through a process to restore themselves back to God, but they are still human. So it’s up to the BOTH of you, not only to the man, to prevent any situation that can initiate a sexual encounter.
- Is he/she walking a path of Light?
As I mentioned on the 1st point is not only important to BE a Christian but to have the same spirits. If the person you’re currently with or you are contemplating to start a relationship is NOT walking a path of Light. I highly recommend to go to the Elders or the Leadership team of the church and seek Counseling for is it not only helping you to start a Darkness road but it will prevent you of exposing yourself to someone who might end up hurting you. In this case, a time of separation which is a TIME WITH GOD, might be needed before entering into a Purposeful Relationship.
- Does he/she have the same purpose?
Genesis 2: 18 states: Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.” The key word in this verse IS: HELPER.
The full definition of Helper in the Webster Dictionary says: “One that helps; especially: a relatively unskilled worker who assists a skilled worker usually by manual labor.
Man: The person that God HAS for YOU, is not going to be a burden, a heavy weight into the Ministry that you’ve been called to be part of, instead she will be able to LIFT OFF the weight that you are carrying, she will understand the position/role that you have in your community and will be the skilled worker who will ASSIST you in the labor.
Ladies: the word HELPER is NOT supposed to be thought as LESS THAN, which means that YOU should NOT be less important, or put to shame on their ministry, you should be equally responsible for the task given. He should never undervalue your point of view but instead he should protect you and also assist you in order to fulfill THE PURPOSE. And the most important point of all is:
- ALWAYS Guard your heart:
Proverbs 4:23 states: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it
Every person that you meet has a past or history, there is even a movie called “What’s Your Number” which puts to shame women who have a higher number of sexual partners. You might meet a person who probably has a higher number than what you have, or maybe less. The importance is that through the Word, and an intimate relationship with God that man or woman you meet, date and even marry can become a new flesh and not even portray the person they once were. So not only Guard YOUR heart but also take into consideration the HEART of the person you’re with, and cherish it and protect it as if it was yours.