Being Afraid: Then vs. Now
When I was 5 years old,
I began kindergarten. I walked into the school with all of the other children who were taller than me. My teacher was very nice. And she had blonde hair. Her smile made me smile! But some of the other kids already knew each other, or so it seemed.
“Oh no,” I thought, “I’m afraid that no one will like me.”
When I was 10 years old,
I did my first play EVER. I got to play a gold rush miner who hit the jackpot. I got up in front of all of the parents and… gulp!
“Oh no,” I thought, “I’m afraid that I won’t remember what to say.”
When I was 15,
My first boyfriend broke up with me before my first class that day. I ran downstairs to my locker to cry and call my mom asking her to come home.
“Oh no,” I thought will all of the teenage drama within me, “I’m afraid no one will ever love me again.”
When I was 18,
I was experiencing major “senior-itis” as my high school career came to a close. I couldn’t imagine not coming back to this place everyday and seeing the same people that I’d gone to class with and grown attached to in the past four years.
“Oh no,” I thought, “I’m afraid that this is the happiest I’ll ever be.”
When I was 21,
I was taken to a pub called The Black Fin at midnight for my birthday. I celebrated with my father, brother, uncle and godfather. After a few shots too many, my dad drove me home with the windows down.
“Oh no,” I thought, “I’m afraid that these drinks might come back up!”
When I was 23,
I realized that I was stagnant in my life. Not really pursuing a certain career or passion. I fell into a false sense of contentment with not trying to improve myself.
“Oh no,” I thought, “I’m afraid I won’t do anything with my life.”
When I was 25,
My grandmother died suddenly and unexpectedly. Unable to cry because of shock, I stood with my cousins during the wake.
“Oh no,” I thought, “I’m afraid I never got to say goodbye.”
On Sunday, Oct. 1st 2017,
An armed man killed 59 people and injured many others at a country music festival in Las Vegas, Nevada. Hearing that news reminded me about Columbine, about the Aurora Dark Knight shooting, the Boston Marathon, Sandy Hook, and so many other senseless tragedies.
“Oh no,” I thought, “I’m afraid to go anywhere. I’m afraid to work in a school. I’m afraid to work at a bank. I’m afraid to go to the movies. I’m afraid to bring children into this world someday. I’m afraid to live my life.”
You would think that the leaders of this country would make this stop once and for all. So, if I may, I’d like to ask them a simple question:
What are you afraid of?