Am I A Bad Feminist?
It’s considered such an ugly word. People either seem love or despise the sound of it. Why is that? Well, like many labels in this world, there are some very damaging and untrue stereotypes surrounding “Feminist”. Older generations, especially, love to toss around a variety of false claims.
“Feminists are unruly radicals who constantly protest and scream at people.”
“They hate all men, don’t actually equality and believe women are superior to men!”
“Feminists don’t wear bras, they just burn them!”
“They never shave their legs or their armpits!”
” Feminists never indulge in feminine or ‘girly’ things.”
“They’ve been rejected by so many men that that’s why they became a feminist!”
” Feminists unhygienic, rude, loud and unfriendly!”
Wow. Really? I’m pretty sure that we’ve made enough strides to be able to put the whole bra burning thing behind us.
What Is A Feminist?
Here’s something people seem to forget: Men can be feminists. I know! It’s a crazy world we live in. Allow me to explain. A feminist is one who believes that women and men are equal genders; that one is no better or superior than the other. They believe that women deserve the same pay, respect, rights and social treatment as men. If you believe any of this in the slightest, than you’re a feminist whether you like the word or not. I’m proud to call myself one.
I haven’t even introduced myself!
My name is Lisa.
Nice to meet you! Let me tell you a little bit about myself.
I’m a writer (duh). I spend five out of seven days a week in Plainfield, Illinois where I live. The other two days I spend in Ottawa, Illinois where my boyfriend lives. For the past six plus years, I’ve been employed in different types of beauty services. I love sitting down at my vanity and doing my hair and makeup. I’m a bit addicted to online shopping and finding amazing deals on makeup, shoes and clothes.
Whether I’m home or in Ottawa, I like to clean and keep a nice, organized space. I love cooking and seeing people’s reaction to my recipes, especially my boyfriend’s. Ideally, I’d love to be able to write full-time, keep a nice house and cook for myself and my boyfriend whenever I want to.
I told this, once, to a friend who replied,
“Sooo… You pretty much want to be an old school housewife? I thought you were feminist and all that? But, I don’t really think you are…”
I hadn’t really thought about it that way. Suddenly I was asking myself a terrifying question.
Am I A Bad Feminist?
I mean, the whole idea of feminism is that women are equal to men and should be treated as such. Am I doing harm to the cause by acting in ways and liking things that are generally frowned upon in the feminist community? I can be a feminist and keep and nice home, right? Cooking for my boyfriend can be done and I’ll still know that women are equal to men, won’t I? Can I wear makeup and cute clothes and also expect the same rights as men? After some thinking, I realized what I really needed to ask myself:
Can I Be Girly AND A Feminist?
The answer is simple: Hell yes, I can.
No one tells me that it’s my job to cook or clean. I don’t need to put on makeup or buy cute clothes to please others. Everything I do, I choose to do. I wear the clothes I wear because they fit the kind of style I like. Applying makeup is truly a fun process for me. I cook for my boyfriend because he and I like food! Cooking is enjoyable because it’s fun to see what I can create and see how others react to it. And I clean because I’m a clean freak!
Ladies, gentlemen, whoever! If you ever think you’re a bad feminist, just think about why you do the things you do or why you enjoy the things you enjoy. As long as it’s for your own joy and not for the validation of others, you keep doing you. There is no one perfect form of a feminist. We are all genders, from all walks of life and all skin colours, one in thought and belief. The word is Feminist. Deal with it.