Dear Millennials, Stop Settling for Less Than You Deserve
Nowadays, just being a millennial can get you a bad rep. Where some people may think Gen Y will never find true love; others, view us as lazy narcissistic freeloaders who feel entitled to pretty much everything – yeah, ouch.
Call me crazy, but I still believe this “loveless” generation can still find true love. Or, at the very least, someone they can genuinely be happy with. However, thanks to sites like Tinder, the dating world has changed; thus changing the way we view relationships. Now, we swipe left in hopes of finding true love and hold small talk via texting or DM’s.
In other words, finding “the one” just got a bit more difficult.
As for the millennial writing this, I’ve earned the reputation of the perpetually single friend. You know the 3rd wheeling wing woman from the gods, who ALWAYS gets the last slice of pizza – no if, and’s, or buts about it. Admittedly, I’ve come to terms with my #foreveralone status; my friends, on the other hand, have since chalked up my single life antics to everything from, a fear of commitment to being “too selfish”. Now, I won’t say they’re all wrong, we all have something we need to work on, but I won’t say they’re all right either.
I’m just one of those millennials who refuses to settle for less than I deserve – and neither should you.
So why, when it comes to relationships, are millennials still settling for second best?
A big reason comes from the fear of ending up alone. Since childhood, we’ve been spoon-fed these unrealistic expectations of what love is supposed to look like. On one hand, you have the Prince Charming’s who come in and save the day. On the other, you have the womanizing “players,” who glorify side-chicks and a lack of commitment.
It’s no wonder our generation prefers the single life over marriage – just look at our choices! (well, some of them…)
Another reason stems from our own insecurities. Unfortunately, we live in a society where many women fail to see just how strong, independent and beautiful they really are; leading many to believe they’re not good enough or worth less than they deserve.
But, when it comes to relationships, settling should NEVER be an option.
Sure, according to society, you should already have your shit together, be married, and ready to pop out babies by the age of 26, but you know what? Screw that.
Whatever happened to beating to the tune of your own drum?
If you want kids by the age of 23 or 32, by all means, do it. On the other hand, if you want to travel the world, indulge a little, take a lot of selfies, or have different one night stands, then go for it.
Don’t just settle for the typical douche-bag because you’re nearing 30 and need to do what’s expected.
Know your worth.
You deserve someone who fully accepts you – all of you. They should support you at your best and worst moments, not only when it benefits them. Your BAE should be someone who challenges you. Someone who isn’t afraid to disagree with you, have constructive conversations, and helps you learn more about yourself each day. You deserve someone who will never take advantage of you or put themselves in a position to lose you. Most importantly, you deserve someone who loves you for who you are and not who you could be. We all deserve that kind of love, no matter what you look like, who you are, or what you believe.
So, what if you are settling for less and just can’t see it?
Think back to all the times you justified excuses, stewed in denial, or lacked real communication.
Or maybe, they’re doing nothing wrong, but something just doesn’t feel… right. You could tell yourself to wait, to give it more time, or to try and make it work all you want too; but are you really being honest with yourself? Perhaps, it’s time you finally snapped out of this delusional relationship and moved on to something worthwhile.
Sure, it may be scary; but just because you don’t have something concrete at 23, doesn’t mean you won’t have it at 25, 28, or 32.
Listen, I’ll be 23 this year, so believe me when I say, I GET IT. I know a ton of people who are either getting married, engaged to be married or are certainly headed on that track. That being said, constantly hearing “Do you know how many frogs I had to kiss to find my prince?” doesn’t give me hope for the future. It does, however, fuel this pretentious thought that eventually, we’ll have that princess moment. You know, just like in the movies.
A lot of people though are still looking for that moment. And it seems like, the longer it takes, the more you think “Well, I must be doing something wrong” or even worse “there must be something wrong with me”.
Over time, I’ve come to realize there’s nothing wrong with me or you. It’s just that, our moment hasn’t happened yet.
Plain and simple.
Until then, don’t just settle for the sake of being in a relationship; rather, realize this time can be the greatest journey of your life. Think of it this way, being single gives us more time to focus on becoming who we are and what we want; so when we do find somebody, we’ll be more than ready to make that commitment.
Besides, there are way worse things out there than being single (see a Donald Trump presidency or global warming).
After all, it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing or what everyone else thinks we should be doing, just as long as we value the life we have and the people in it.
Because, in the end, we all deserve happiness and we shouldn’t be settling for anything less than that.