What It’s Like Living With Grief
Living with grief doesn’t have to be as painful as we’ve all experienced.
Imagine a bag of bricks tied around your neck. With every step you take, the weight of the bricks puts strain on your neck. Step by step by step, this goes on until finally, your knees buckle and you collapse. But you can’t stay down because stuff needs to get done. So, you muster the strength to get up, just to fall a few steps later and repeat the process all over again.
That’s what it’s like living with grief. But, it doesn’t need to be that way anymore.
For the longest time, my bag of bricks was holding onto the grief of the loss of a dear friend. I repeated the process of walking, buckling, falling, and getting back up so much, that figuratively, my neck broke. I couldn’t take the weight of the grief anymore. But something dawned on me and I realized that I was the one that allowed the bag of bricks to hang on my neck. I was the one who was holding onto the grief.
In order to let go of your bag of bricks, you need to lift it over your head. Next to falling because of them, this may be the most strenuous and difficult thing to do. I won’t lie to you – getting rid of grief is hard. But once you lift that bag of bricks over your head and drop it – once you work hard to let it go – it is the most freeing feeling in the world.
For me, letting go of my grief did not mean that I forgot about my dear friend. It did not mean that I didn’t get sad anymore or missed her any less. It meant that I finally radically accepted the fact that I could not control the tragedy that had happened. I realized that dwelling upon my own sadness would not bring her back, it would not make other people around me happy, and it sure as hell wasn’t doing me any good.
I let go of my bag of bricks.
Since I let go of my grief, I can walk again, I can hold my head up again, I can live again. I still remember my friend, but I remember the good memories I had with her. I still feel sad when I think of her, but I don’t dwell on it – I thank God that I had the time with her that I did.
Since I let go of my grief, my life has changed for the better. I urge you to muster the strength to lift that bag of bricks off your neck and drop them right where you are. Let go of your grief and get back to living the life that you are supposed to be living.