The #MeToo Movement May Not Be For Everyone
The #MeToo movement is empowering. It’s a way to cope with the fear that a person has been living with for a certain amount of time. It’s a way to show truth to others, and a way to deal with bad choices. It is making it’s mark on people’s lives as a recipient or the aggressor. The #MeToo movement is giving people courage to stand up against those who have abused, raped, harassed, or molested them. This movement is positive, easy to contribute to, and is effective in showing that all people can be empowered to stand up for themselves and take their lives back.
But not everyone who has been victimized can come forward. Not all people who have been molested or raped can easily point the finger and their aggressor. No matter how right or wrong this may be, it is reality. The victim could be related to them or they could have ties to the abuser somehow that prevents them from coming forward. I understand the #MeToo movement is also in support of those people. I wonder what type of feelings must this be conjuring inside of them knowing that they can’t speak up, knowing they can’t bring peace to their hearts?
I know you’re thinking, but they can, but they can step up, they just have to do it. This makes you blinded by all of the people who can come forward. They are visors to your true reality. Let’s say, for example, a young girl is playing with her cousins and one touches her inappropriately in a closet while playing hide-and-seek. Many years later, this movement is created. This story has touched the victim, but she thinks about her life and how that instance wasn’t wanted, and thinks it didn’t negatively effect her in anyway… Which might not be the truth.
If she was to finally speak up about this truth, her family would be devastated and the cousin’s life would be torn to shambles. But for what? A one time occurrence that made no difference while it happened or after it happened? It doesn’t make the scenario right, but it does make it claimable. Or maybe it doesn’t.
Does this mean that this movement isn’t for that girl? Does this mean that just because her life was not negatively impacted that she isn’t part of the #MeToo movement? Does she celebrate in silence? Or does she just stop and think about that game turned uncomfortable so many years back, shrug her shoulders, and move on?
What about the woman who was a rape victim, but doesn’t feel safe in expressing her situation because a baby was an outcome of this act? What if the rapist was her husband? What if a woman was assaulted by another woman? Does society consider same-sex encounters just has brash? Is there a separate branch of #MeToo for LGBTQ victims? Is that fair?
I understand the premise of the movement, but what about those that are hidden away in a corner and for whatever reason, don’t come forward? Claiming #MeToo may not bring solace to their lives. It might, but it probably won’t. How could it? Why would one victim’s claim to abuse and acceptance of said abuse bring another person’s reality, a prison really, any peace?
These people feel stuck in these situations. They feel deserving of the abuse, they love the abuser, or they have more riding on the truth than anyone could truly realize. The #MeToo movement is pushing the limits for resolution for some, but not all.
Next time you Tweet a #MeToo, take a second to appreciate those that can’t come forward. When you’re on Facebook reading all of the revelations of each friends’ #MeToo, remember that they are the lucky ones who can use their voice for peace-of-mind. When you see the fancy photos on Instagram claiming #MeToo, recognize that for each photo, there are real people who can’t take a photo because they have to hide for the rest of their lives because of their hidden #MeToo’s.