National Novel Writing Month, Finding Your Truth
For National Novel Writing Month, I wanted to talk about the wonderful things that writing has given me. If you’re reading this, you’re more than likely a lover of words, just like me. The last article which I had written was one of the most difficult things I ever had the chance to write. Putting a pen to paper isn’t something anyone should do for profit; it is something someone should do for peace of mind. Despite my difficulties using my hands, I write in my journal every day. My journal is a yellow notebook which I bought for $5 on the internet. It means the world to me because it’s my place to think, my place to vent, my place of love, and the place where I pray.
I was so disquieted by the book, so I decided I would stay after school one day and talk to the teacher about my issues with this book. My teacher’s only response was, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” The teacher told me that I could come and talk to her about it and have the assignment changed if I wasn’t comfortable with it. She told me something that I’ve always held to be true for years. She said, “Good books aren’t good because we agree with them. They are good because they keep you reading”. My goal as an adult is to expand my mind through many different types of literature, music and ideas.
Writing has always been my way of coping with the world around me. The first time I remember writing, my grandmother had passed away and I wrote about what her journey to the next world would be like. Writing has always given me a sense of peace because it’s been a way for me to be introspective.
My mother was urging me to finish college and said she didn’t care what I got a degree in, as long as I finish school. I wasn’t happy in my pursuit of a degree in counseling so I called my current college and changed my major to Creative Writing.
It wasn’t until recently, however, that I discovered my words have power, and that people are responding positively to them. Back in September, I wrote a letter to Dylan Klebold, along with his friend Eric Harris, who shot and killed 13 people before they killed themselves in the Columbine shooting. I wrote a letter to this young man to express my sympathies towards him struggling with mental illness, which is very difficult; I know that from my own experience. After posting this, I got a long list of mixed responses. People telling me everything from feeling the same way and wanting to understand, to people who told me that they understood and actually felt bad for me, as I have struggled with self harm in the past as well. Some people even told me that they hoped I went to hell right along with him!
I was upset with some of the responses because they were so incredibly hurtful, but they were responses nevertheless.
At that point, I was always standing up for what was my truth. Truth, like everything else, is perceptual. We have different ideas about life and about people. Truth is based on what we have experienced and what we have yet to experience.
The most touching aspect of being a writer is seeing how people respond to you, some of it being good and some bad. All of this is an experience that you share with the world. My most touching moment since joining any writing organization, took place this past week when my mother responded to an article I wrote. This article was about a teacher who was of mentally and physically abusive to me when I was a student. The fact that my mother responded made me feel like this is the right thing to do. Writing that article made me feel at peace. My mother’s loving response made me feel like she understood what I went through and the pain that I’m still working on because of it.
The most important thing you have to remember is that you are an available human being and you need to express your truth. You need to find a way to voice your opinion and your knowledge, which is never wasted on anyone. Just make these known and keep moving forward.
I have chosen to write an autobiography for National Novel Writing Month because I feel that my story is worth telling. I hope my fellow writers read this and understand but they are valuable and their voice should never be silent.