Possible Risk of Death
“Possible risk of death.”
What do you mean,
a possible risk of death?
Sure, are you kidding?
That toxic haze I feel
As if it’s already over.
Sometimes I think that,
l have been dead for years.
Will today be the day,
My heart stops beating?
If I leave my mother behind,
Will she be okay without me?
She’s strong and I know that,
But it hurts her when I’m gone,
Even for a little while.
Right now, I see bright lights.
Lights that burn my eyes,
An all-encompassing ringing in my ears.
I try to wiggle my fingers and my toes,
God, please help me, I’m scared!
Eyes dart around wildly in their sockets.
Anxiety, my heart is beating so fast,
Like a bird eager to fly out of its cage.
Pristine white all around me, it sparkles,
The pure white is peppered with red.
Playful laughter echoing,
Bites from a king cobra cover my body.
Seriously, is this how I die?
I take a deep breath and pray.
I have no choice anymore,
everything goes hazy once again.
Instinctively, clawing, everything I can reach,
It doesn’t work, I prepare for the inevitable.
I pray this will be quick.
Why God, why now?
I’m ready to meet my maker.
I can’t feel anything.
Suddenly, intense burning in every fiber of my being.
Warm salty tears,
trickling down my cheeks.
I taste salt, bile and copper.
I reach down and scratch my arms
I can feel it,
I’m here, it’s real.
Too weak to move, exhaustion.
I know we will meet again.
Until next time this is just a …
possible risk of death.