The Truth About Dating Apps
The other day I took to Twitter to openly share about my relationship. I wrote, “I have a sneaky feeling breaking up with the dating app itself rather than a date is the real relationship I’m in at the moment.”
I had finally admitted it to myself – my brain may be more preoccupied with the countless potential dates I could go on rather than a single date with a single person. I’ve been so overwhelmed with all the “matches” that I’ve been getting, that I’ve probably spent more time filtering through those than actively dating. And that may be the most common romantic theme in 2017 for many, many others.
In case you’re a little new to the party, let me fill you in. Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, and more have really gained a presence in many millennial’s everyday lives. But what I’ve recently discovered about my dating app experience is that I’ve found myself more interested in swiping than actually dating.
Think about it – when you open a dating app, suddenly there are endless possibilities of people to go out with. Sure, there are options when you go out to a bar or a club, but the number of options increases exponentially when you download a dating app.
What happens next is something I’m sure many dating-app users can relate to. With so many options, it makes it difficult to narrow it down to just a single person or date. Even if you go on a date with a one person, there’s always a thought in the back of your mind reminding you of how many options there are out there, just in case this one date doesn’t work out.
Having more options has resulted in less commitment. Why settle on a single person or date when there’s always that chance that your next swipe could be “the one.”
What’s unfortunate that we as an entire generation likely spend more time searching for dates, than actually going on them. Sure, we casually date, grabbing coffee or drinks with the plethora of options presented to us. But we seldom settle on going on multiple dates with a single person because of how easy it is to move on to the next person.
However, let’s be clear. Apps like Bumble and Tinder, as they’re a great way to connect with new folks in your area, especially if you’re new to a city. But we can easily fall into an endless cycle of constant searching and less settling.
So after some serious personal reflection, I’ve found that I spend more time searching for a date than actually dating. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. So take a page from my book (or don’t), but break-up with the dating apps and hope to find a date in the real world. It may seem more uncommon these days, but trust me, it’s worth the effort.