They Cheated, Now What Do You Do?
You are in a relationship, whether it has been for a month or a few years, but you are in a relationship and you just found out they are cheating. You are using the excuse, “But they love me” or “I love them”. The truth is, no they don’t. If they truly loved you, especially in that moment, they would not have cheated. Now, cheating is not just a physical act. Cheating can also be accomplished by using words, forming an emotional connection. This is called emotional cheating. If your partner is sending messages to someone, sharing intimate details, sending photos, videos, or constantly “tease flirting”, they’ve already cheated and you need to decide whether that’s something you can live with. Nine times out of ten when you give cheaters a second chance, it will happen again. These are things you must consider before agreeing to give a second chance.
- Imagine your life without them. Don’t say you can’t live without them, just imagine it. Is it stress free? Are you still worried about the little things that might be happening anymore?
- Memorize the feeling of finding out they were cheating; would you be able to go through this pain again? Chances are if you stay with them, this whole situation may be repeated so get used to that feeling.
- If you are wanting to stay because you have kids together, think of the affects situations like these will have on your kids. They notice more than you think they do. Do you want your little ones to grow up thinking this is how a relationship is supposed to be? Do you want them growing up thinking this is how they should expect their partner to treat them or how they should treat their partner?
Giving a second chance after your partner has cheated is sometimes like feeding a wild animal. Some animals will be grateful and will continue to be nice to you; while others will be nice at first then bite the hand you’re feeding them with. Giving second chances is a dangerous game to play so play it cautiously. If you do decide to give them a second chance, burn in to their brain that the trust doesn’t rebuild itself over night; it will take time. Everyone is different and for some, trust can immediately be rebuilt. For others, it could take a life time and they still can’t find it in themselves to trust the person again. Don’t stay just because you’re comfortable. Do what you know will make you the happiest, especially in the long run. Once you make your decision, let the sun set on the past. Tomorrow will rise with a new future.