When You Know, You Know
As a millennial woman dating in 2017, there’s no shortage of conversations about relationships and dates amongst my friends and myself. This week, during one of those regular conversations, a friend and I discussed one of the most common questions we ask ourselves – how do you know when you like someone, in the most raw and honest sense of the phrase?
Let’s be very clear about something – there’s no textbook way to confirm whether or not you’re genuinely into someone. There’s no checklist to run through in order to determine once and for all that this is someone you’d like to spend a long time with.
Lack of guidelines aside, however, when I was much younger, my mother gave me the best piece of advice that has rung true time and time again. “When you know, you know,” she said.
And it wasn’t until recently that I really understood what she meant. It’s less about the date you go on or the conversation you have. It’s all about the connection between you and that other person. Again, there’s no foolproof way to determine whether or not you’ve officially connected with someone; but, if you’re unsure about whether or not the chemistry is flowing, here are three questions you can ask yourself the next time you’re on a date.
Is there chemistry flowing between the two of you?
This may seem like a simple question to ask yourself, but it’s still worth asking. You’ll know if the chemistry is there if your conversation is full of fun banter or if there’s rarely a lull in the conversation. Now, most conversations have natural lulls in them, but as long as there are few long and painful awkward silences, you’ll know you guys are moving in the right direction.
How do you physically feel around this person?
With this question, it’s not about being physical with this individual, but how you feel around them. Is your body relaxed when you’re near them? Do your hands stay still when theirs are near yours, or do you feel like you want to flinch away? Romantic chemistry is kind of like glorified biology; if the chemistry is there, that physical comfort happen naturally.
How committed are you to seeing him or her again?
When asking yourself this question, really think about it. In the past, when I’ve liked someone, I couldn’t wait to see the person again. Instead of suggesting we hang out again “sometime,” my date and I made set plans to see each other again either a few days later or within the next week. You’ll know whether or not you’re really into this person by how committed you are to your next set of plans. There won’t be any speculation about when your next date will be. As kids, we’re always told that if we want something, we should go out there and get it, and your next date won’t be any different.