Who Is In Charge?
The despodency that comes with setting the alarm for 6 am in July hit me hard yesterday night. Yes, I am a high school student who has an internship over the summer, and I have confused feelings about it.
I go to a highly competitive high school in Turkey, which I believe is preparing me for the life ahead. Despite this appreciative opportunity, it is also really overwhelming to get through these five years of high school. You feel like you have to be the best all the time. I don’t know if this feeling is a result of me being a perfectionist, but it still does exist at the end of the day.
So this summer, after a tiring, depressive school year that makes you re-evaluate your life goals every single day, I decided to do an internship. The reason that lead me to this decision wasn’t hundred percent personal: I felt like I had to do it, because everyone else was also doing something school or college related. So I applied to an internship, and I got it.
The acceptance mail made me happy when I recieved it; I felt like I had accomplished something. Now that I am actually doing the internship, I question my happiness at that time. Looking at the Snapchat stories of my friends, swimming, drinking, having fun, I regret my decision all the time. I should have utilized my summer to relax, to blow the junior grade’s steam… Instead, I wake up ten minutes earlier than I usually do for school.
All I can say is that the worry about future has an immense power upon us; so much power that it takes the strings from our hands and control our lives. It doesn’t let us to be ourselves with its obligations that last for ever. A good future requires a lot of sacrifices: time, patience, and so on. Just be careful not to sacrifice your personality in the sake of your targets. Those won’t mean anything when you don’t act like yourself.